When two teams go to war

Apothecary Cafe owner Ted Waters. Times file photo Wayne Martin.

It’s dining but not as we know it.

Think Flintstones meets Little Shop of Horrors.

Ted Waters, owner of popular Howick eatery The Apothecary in Picton Street, has organised an eating challenge and roped in members of Pakuranga United Rugby Club’s Presidents and Reserves teams for The Great Apothecary Rib-Off.

The atmosphere, Waters says, will be electric as the two teams are very competitive. They will face off tomorrow June 9 in the early evening with the team consuming the largest quantity of baby back bbq pork ribs crowned champions.

“We’re going to get this rivalry sorted once and for all and they decided to do it over ribs night at the Apothecary,” said Waters.

“The Presidents are obviously older, suffering from dementia, carrying knee and hip replacements and some shoulder re-constructions and a general lack of hope versus the Reserves who are just not quite good enough, entitled, known for dropping the ball because they’re on their phones and who have too many health shakes.”

The only rule is there are no doggy bags.

“We’ve got some absolutely cracking characters like Beefy (Michael McBeath) who was the Premier captain and now he’s playing for his mates in the Reserves,” says Waters.

“The Presidents captain Cracker (Carl Lunt). This could get quite heated.”

There’ll be official counters and there’ll also be a trophy and there will even be t-shirts done.

The biggest challenge, he reckons, will be trying to explain to the competitors that they’re not allowed to east the bones.

“It’s a good fun local event with a bit of competitive edge which we want to make an annual challenge,” he says.

“Other members of the public can book and eat (tomorrow night) but there might be about 30 of these guys squaring off so we’ll have two tables.

Waters is under no illusions a lot of food will be scoffed. “We could go into liquidation the following day.”

It will kick-off sometime after normal dining commences after 5.30pm.

“We’ll get a winner out of it then I’ll get the Howick Hornets to post a challenge, or a local derby between Fencibles and Bucklands Beach football,” says Waters.