MICHELLE KEENAN empowers people and organisations to achieve optimal well-being by providing customised wellness coaching programmes tailored to their unique goals.
Do you have a little voice in your head?
One that chimes in with criticism, doubt, or judgment at the worst possible moments?
“You’re not good enough,” it whispers. “You messed that up.” That’s your inner critic, and while it might think it’s helping, all it’s really doing is wearing you down.
The inner critic pops up when we’re stressed, trying something new, or feeling uncertain.
It feeds on comparison, perfectionism, and fear of failure. You may be used to living with it, but there are things you can do to quiet it and instead learn to find your inner cheerleader.
Start by noticing the tone of your self-talk. Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself? If not, it’s time for a reset.
When that critical voice pops up, try challenging it. Ask yourself: ‘Is this really true? Is this helpful? What would I say to someone I care about in this situation?’
Another great technique is to name your inner critic – you can go with something like “Perfectionist Pete” or “Critical Cath”, or keep it simple like my client who just calls hers “Sheryl”!
Giving that voice a name can help create distance between you and the unhelpful chatter and makes it easier to ignore.
If challenging, and learning to ignore, your inner critic is one side of the coin, then the other is to work on being kinder to yourself and developing your inner cheerleader.
Take a moment each day to acknowledge what you’ve done well.
Be proud of showing up, trying again, or simply making it through a tough day.
Celebrate wins, even small ones. Make self-kindness, and self-support, your new habits.
Research shows that self-compassion is linked to greater happiness and resilience, and better mental and physical health, while self-criticism often leads to increased stress, anxiety, and procrastination.
Being kinder to yourself not only feels better, it’s also more likely to lead to better outcomes, so next time your inner critic gets loud, pause, take a breath, and tune in to your inner cheerleader instead.
