Join Holly as she searches east Auckland for love and connection.
In which Holly stands with survivors.
Happy new year, Reader! There’s something so heartening about having 365 fresh days in front of us, in which we can hope, love and strive to be good to one another.
For me, one of the anticipated highlights of 2026 is the upcoming launch of a new charity, Tika.
I’ve watched the journey of founders Ali and Zoë as they’ve gathered support for their mission.
These two dedicated women, and the helpers they’ve found along the way, are about to revolutionise the experience of sexual harm survivors in New Zealand.
The New Zealand Crime and Victim Survey shows that during their lifespan, around a quarter of New Zealanders will experience sexual violence.
That, of course, reflects only what survivors are ready to disclose, and the real rate of offence is estimated to be much higher.
Currently, only around a third of reported cases make it to court, and fewer than 10 per cent result in conviction within two years.
While trying to process what has happened to them, survivors often deal with the very real complexities of the legal system, as well as the complexities of how society thinks and talks about sexual harm.
We cannot ignore the fact that sexual violence is a very gendered issue.
Most (but not all) victims are female and most (but not all) perpetrators are male.
Some victims are LGBTQI+, and a large proportion of victims are children.
As always, certain male podcasters will have loud but largely unfounded opinions about this.
Just the other day, in an Uber, I heard one bemoaning how “common” false accusations are, and the driver, when asked to turn it off, proceeded to lecture me with a “not all men” monologue. This resulted in a one-star rating, obviously.
In fact, the average guy is much more likely to be sexually assaulted himself than to be falsely accused of sexual assault.
Is it any wonder that survivors are reluctant to endure the slings and arrows of victimhood, especially if they’re unlikely to see justice at the end?
Yet, from my own work with survivors, I know that many do wish to report their experience – sometimes in order to help process their feelings or find some form of accountability from their attacker, and other times in the hope of preventing the same thing happening to someone else.
In a way, my obnoxious Uber driver was close to being right. Not all men… and that is one of the reasons that Tika’s work is so important.
Following a simple registration process, an algorithm checks the information a survivor gives for patterns to help identify shared perpetrators, then flags those cases for a lawyer to look into further.
Common sense tells us that not all men are vile. We know that if a quarter of Kiwis have been victimised, it doesn’t mean that another quarter of Kiwis are out there doing the victimising.
And it’s important to get accountability from the right people, for the people who deserve it.
Tika offers survivors a free legal service that feels safer and more supportive, and I’m so excited for their 2026 launch. I stand with survivors. If you do, too, find more information or donate at tika.org.nz.
Email holly@times.co.nz
Yours in love,
Holly
