PRESS CONFERENCE: Daryl Graydon's mother Louanna (centre) pleads for information to help find who killed her son in December 2007. She's supported by Daryl's aunt and uncle, Deb and Allan Nicol. Times file photo.

The mum-of-three was determined to have her say at the sentencing of the two men who stabbed Daryl to death in Howick in December 2007.

In an emotionally charged statement, Ms Graydon told the Auckland High Court that the 24-year-old’s death had devastated his family.

Choking back tears, she said her life had “crumbled” and were it not for her remaining children, she would have taken her own life to be with her “right-hand man”.

“It felt like a kick in the guts,” Ms Graydon said of the night she found out Daryl had died.

“Not a day goes by when I don’t think of my son.

“My life has never been the same and I don’t feel whole anymore.

“I would be happy to go to an early grave.”

Friends and family members clutched a black urn containing Daryl’s ashes during the sentencing, some wearing black t-shirts printed with a photo of the Panmure man and emblazoned with the words “RIP Daz”.

Ms Graydon spoke of how her teenage daughter, Alana, attended a funeral days before her brother’s death on Ridge Road, Howick.

“I really felt for her. Seeing him lying on a table did break my heart. My daughter and I slept on either side of Daryl. I wished that I could die so I could be with Daryl.”

She told the court that the laughter has disappeared from her household since his death and she avoids happy occasions because they remind her of him.

<!--page-->“He was the life of our home. Daryl and I were pretty close — we even had the same habits.

“With murder, it’s no goodbyes – no nothing. Life is not meant to be like that.” – Louanna Graydon

“I feel lost and lonely at night without him.”

While Ms Graydon read aloud her letter, one of the men convicted of taking her son’s life stared straight ahead with a tear in his eye, while the other bowed his head.

“People ask me if I’m alright, but I’m not alright,” she says.

“I’ll never be alright ever again… it’s a parent’s worst nightmare.”

During last year’s murder trial, Ms Graydon heard the full details of how multiple stab wounds inflicted by two men, who were 18 at the time, had killed her son.

“I had to know what happened,” she told the court.

“A lot eats at me and I feel anger and hate that it happened.”

She added that parents who lose their children through an illness were “lucky, in a way” because they knew what was coming.

“Daryl should have had a life. With murder, it’s no goodbyes – no nothing. Life is not meant to be like that.”

Her grandchildren still ask where their special Uncle Daryl is, and Ms Graydon tells them to look for “the brightest star in the night sky on the east side”.

“Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real, but at the end of the day you come back to the reality of it all.

“The sad thing about it all is there is nothing – absolutely nothing – I can do about it.”