FINDING the strength to gain control of a life dominated by domestic violence is the first step towards a brighter future for many women and their children.
To help women along their journey to a violence-free lifestyle, Christine Cowan-James of Eastern Women’s Refuge developed and convenes the Stepping Stones programme.
After several months of development and documentation, the course was approved by the Ministry of Justice and has been operating successfully for more than two years.
“Anyone with a protection order has free referral through the court to the course, but we offer it free to anybody,” says Ms Cowan-James. “I think it’s important anyone can come along.”
The programme runs for 10 consecutive weeks and consists of two-hour structured sessions.
The groups explore the myths surrounding domestic violence, such as who it happens to, how it affects children and society’s hierarchical structure, which can make people assume they do or don’t have power.
Domestic violence involves people from all racial and socio-economic groups, and is often hidden from family and friends.
Since July, more than 20 women living in East Manukau with protection orders have been referred to the Stepping Stones programme by the Justice Ministry.
“The women initially come along and think ‘it’s not so bad for me’ and they feel a little like a fraud when they come to the first session,” says Ms Cowan-James.
The group has a morning tea break halfway through each session, creating a social environment.
“A key part of Stepping Stones is building networks with each other in a place that’s safe where stories can be told or not told.
Quality women’s and children’s clothing and household items that people would use in their own home are always appreciated by Eastern Women’s Refuge. Phone 576-6551 and a refuge member will collect goods.
Financial donations can be given on the website www.womensrefuge.org.nz
• For urgent assistance, phone the Women’s Refuge 24-hour crisis line, 378-1893, or for community support, call 576-6551.
“Knowing there are other people in the room who know exactly where they are from or where they are at – that’s really healing for women.
“We have been supporting each other like this for thousands of years. It’s something women do well.”
Women learn about anger management, goal-setting, healthy communication and survival tactics used in abusive relationships.
They’re comprehensively assessed when starting Stepping Stones and if required, Eastern Women’s Refuge helps them access other support services.
Eastern Women’s Refuge works with the whole family when the abuser recognises and wants to change their behaviour.
“This situation is rarer because the person has to say ‘I’ve got a problem and I’m going to address it’.
“There have been some fantastic stories of men who do recognise that and see the patterns of behaviour.”
A men’s caucus is associated with Eastern Women’s Refuge, which has males working with family violence.
